Being a better dad

I'm not sure why I feel compelled to start a blog at the tender age of 42....but nevertheless, here I am.  I had a simple, yet life changing event today.  I saw the movie Courageous.  For those of you that have not seen it, I urge you to see see it.  However, be ready to take a long, hard look at yourself. And if you don't cry you need to have your pulse checked.  I won't spoil the movie if you haven't seen it, but it really moved me more than any other movie I have ever seen.

For the last few weeks, I felt God has been trying to move in me....I don't know exactly where he wants me to go, because as usual I find myself fighting against it for some reason.  I have often asked God to move in me...change me, but then I often don't listen.

I am blessed with 4 wonderful children ages 19, 15, 4 and 18 months..Yes God does have a sense of humor since I became a father again at the age of 41.  But, at times I feel like there is not enough of me to go around.  The ages are so diverse, that I literally have to sometimes wear 4 hats at once.

At one point in the movie, one of the characters makes a comment that "he is a good enough father".  That made me think that I sometimes think the same thing...but I don't want to be just good enough....I want to be exceptional. I want all of my children to be impacted by me.

I want to start not only praying FOR my family, but WITH my family....I want to be the one to stand up and lead our family in the right direction.  I have a long way to go and don't really even know where to start...but i think God has been tugging at me for awhile in this direction.  I know that I need to be the spiritual leader of our house...and it is a role that scares me greatly.

I know my thoughts are scattered, but to summarize.....i had an epiphany today and I want to make changes to this part of my world.  One day at a time, right?

There will be more to come...i want to be accountable to my family and to God. So, here I go....I want God to make a change in me....to become the spiritual head of our house...to be a more influential person in my kids life. I have a wonderful wife...who has stood beside me though some pretty stupid decisions in my life.I couldnt do this without her.  I love her dearly.

In Christ

Kev