This morning, I stepped way outside of my comfort zone. Every Wednesday morning at 6:00 a group of men from our church meet in the sanctuary of our church for prayer. I told our pastor I would be there, I did not want to let him down. So I got up at 5:00, showered, dressed and made the short drive to church. And although I thought several times, it would be much safer to just turn around and go home, I persevered. So with my heart practically beating out of my chest, I entered the church and made the walk to the sanctuary.
What I found was 11 other men and the wonderful spirit of Jesus moving through the church. I was instantly welcomed with open arms and in just a matter of a few minutes, I knew I was where I belonged. We discussed some prayer requests and then split up and knelt before God and prayed. Now I've been a christian a long time, but I have never prayed like I prayed today. The words came so easy and the thoughts seemed so clear....it was an incredible experience and one I will never forget.
After our prayers we all got together at the front of the church I felt compelled to tell the other men what God had been doing in my life for the last few months. I had my whole speech prepared and even briefly went over my Dale Carnegie training, so i would make sure to get all my thoughts organized. Well, after about 2 words, it was evident that God had his own agenda....I started crying as I was talking about what God had been doing. Not just crying, but basically being a blubbering idiot (at least that is how i felt).
It was perhaps the most liberating moment of my spritual life....after I said my speech, the men gathered around me and one other man and prayed over us....it was wonderful. There were some things said that I needed to hear this morning, and I know those messages were straight from God. I look foward to going next week.
Public prayer for me has always been difficult...mainly because the right words never seem to be there. As I accept God's moving, I know this will become easier and easier and I look forward to that.
I have shared my experiences with several people recently...opening up about my struggles and how at times in my life I blamed God for not trying hard enough to open me up. Of course, God was always right there. All I had to do was say yes. I seemed to always keep God just far enough away for me to remain comfortable....well, I'm tired of being comfortable....I want more. I have received a taste of what God can offer me and I want more. So, this is me saying YES to GOD.
My family deserves a spiritual leader. My God demands that I become that spiritual leader. I want to be that spiritual leader.....YES YES YES!!!! Give me more, God. Give me the guidance I need to become that leader.
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